Gorging – la tortura del cibo

I pour my two coffees at breakfast

Uncle: Sta bevendo 2 caffè!!!!

Everyone arrives in the kitchen! (The food police!?)

Aunt: Ti fanno male!

Me: I’ve drunk 2 coffees for the past 10 years and I’m not dead yet!

Aunt: Si ma io ne bevo una tazza alle 8 poi un’altra alle 8.30 – con na’ mezz’oretta in mezzo (getting angry – capisco – as she lights her cigarette)

Me la fai una?

Me: Ok

Aunt: But two coffees are bad for you

Me: (in my head) you drink 8 CUPS A DAYYYYY!!!! And smoke!!!!!!

(out loud) It’s my only habit! Mio l’unico vizio

Aunt: Ma si possono cambiare l’abitudini!

Me: (in my head) well quit smoking then!

(out loud) è vero!

Aunt: Con lo stomaco vuoto pure’….

(she’s incazzata)

Me: (in my head) aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

 

Man / Beast?

Does anything in excess become disgusting?

Food/Sex/Shopping?

The grotesque food culture has always shocked me!

If I’m hungry I eat. If I’m not – I don’t.

If I’m not hungry why try to force me to eat?

Boyfriends, relations, friends … It’s all about food.

Do you remember when you were a child and you couldn’t leave the table until you’d polished off your plate? Well, that happens here, only it’s your husband, aunt, friend doing the force feeding – 20 years on!!!

If I’m sick:  ‘è perchè non mangi bene!’

If I’m tired: ‘è perchè non mangi bene!’

If the boyfriend calls, first question: ‘che hai mangiato?’

At lunch: ‘che mangiamo stasera?’ (already planning their dinner with la bocca still piena)

If they are still hungry after they’ve finished their meal: ‘mangia‘ they tell you – so they feel less guilty about not fulfilling their own appetite to the max…..

MANGIA MANGIA MANGIA 

….

Obsession

Food addicts – then they complain that they’re fat, have cellulite, have put on 2 kilos – as they spread lard on their toast and try to make me eat when I’m not hungry!

Food glorious food

WTF?!

 

*verb (used with object), gorged, gorg·ing.

to stuff with food (usually used reflexively or passively): He gorged himself. They were gorged.

to swallow, especially greedily.

to choke up (usually used passively).

verb (used without object), gorged, gorg·ing.
to eat greedily

 

Note to self: eat with English/Americans/non-Italians/avoid meal times with the ‘family’

Memo: more people at the table = less concentration on what you’re eating

Reminder: they are Italian they are Italian they are food Aliens they are Italian

th

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s