I pour my two coffees at breakfast
Uncle: Sta bevendo 2 caffè!!!!
Everyone arrives in the kitchen! (The food police!?)
Aunt: Ti fanno male!
Me: I’ve drunk 2 coffees for the past 10 years and I’m not dead yet!
Aunt: Si ma io ne bevo una tazza alle 8 poi un’altra alle 8.30 – con na’ mezz’oretta in mezzo (getting angry – capisco – as she lights her cigarette)
Me la fai una?
Aunt: But two coffees are bad for you
Me: (in my head) you drink 8 CUPS A DAYYYYY!!!! And smoke!!!!!!
(out loud) It’s my only habit! Mio l’unico vizio
Aunt: Ma si possono cambiare l’abitudini!
Me: (in my head) well quit smoking then!
(out loud) è vero!
Aunt: Con lo stomaco vuoto pure’….
Me: (in my head) aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh
Man / Beast?
Does anything in excess become disgusting?
The grotesque food culture has always shocked me!
If I’m hungry I eat. If I’m not – I don’t.
If I’m not hungry why try to force me to eat?
Boyfriends, relations, friends … It’s all about food.
Do you remember when you were a child and you couldn’t leave the table until you’d polished off your plate? Well, that happens here, only it’s your husband, aunt, friend doing the force feeding – 20 years on!!!
If I’m sick: ‘è perchè non mangi bene!’
If I’m tired: ‘è perchè non mangi bene!’
If the boyfriend calls, first question: ‘che hai mangiato?’
At lunch: ‘che mangiamo stasera?’ (already planning their dinner with la bocca still piena)
If they are still hungry after they’ve finished their meal: ‘mangia‘ they tell you – so they feel less guilty about not fulfilling their own appetite to the max…..
MANGIA MANGIA MANGIA
Food addicts – then they complain that they’re fat, have cellulite, have put on 2 kilos – as they spread lard on their toast and try to make me eat when I’m not hungry!
Food glorious food
*verb (used with object), gorged, gorg·ing.
to stuff with food (usually used reflexively or passively): He gorged himself. They were gorged.
to swallow, especially greedily.
to choke up (usually used passively).
verb (used without object), gorged, gorg·ing.
to eat greedily
Note to self: eat with English/Americans/non-Italians/avoid meal times with the ‘family’
Memo: more people at the table = less concentration on what you’re eating
Reminder: they are Italian they are Italian they are food Aliens they are Italian